When I was a fledgling writer, I subscribed to a lot of different feeds for freelance writing jobs. Although most of my gigs these days come to me directly through my freelance writing website, I still browse my aggregated feeds from time to time to keep up with the state of the writing market and, truth be told, to amuse myself.

This post was imported from Suess's Pieces and may contain broken links and missing images

A Quick Note on Job Postings that Qualify for Ridicule on Suess’s Pieces

Many people from all over the world are more than happy to take jobs that pay $1 for 500 words, and I’m not here to judge what’s decent pay for all of humanity. So low pay in and of itself isn’t enough to warrant attention. What I’m here to highlight are the employers who write funny or insulting job ads.

Like This Guy Who Thinks Freelance Writers Can’t Do Math

I am looking for some great writers or team of writers… I have hundreds of articles to be written every week. So the more you write, the more you earn. I pay $2 per 500 words and $3.75 per 1000 words. The pay will be monthly, as most of my clients pay me monthly. Since, I can work on this trust, I need the same from my writers too.  (emphasis mine)

Apparently, my esteemed writing professionals, the more you write for this guy, the less you earn. If you’re going to work for this guy, I suggest slapping a page break in your next 1,000-word article or saving it in two separate files and billing him twice for 500-words. Apparently, this is how employers Do More with Less on oDesk (now UpWork).

Also, if any of you reading this are freelance writing n00bs, be very wary of submitting an entire month’s worth of writing without any pay.

A Little Unsolicited Freelance Writing Advice from Emily

If you want my professional opinion, trust is not a currency you should deal in – especially with clients you don’t know and haven’t worked with before. When getting started on oDesk or a similar freelance writing jobs site, always request a minimum of 25% paid upfront from new clients. As a one-person business, you have every right to CYA. (If you want to offer some leeway to long-term clients after they’ve established rapport, that’s up to you.)

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