Healthcare for My Enemies

Chances are if you’re friends with me on Facebook, you saw some drama go down on my page this weekend.

It started with me posting a few updates about my husband being denied the meds he needs. That post led to a woman telling me to “shut it.”

It was her opinion that because I wasn’t working, I had no justification for lamenting our situation (which is that I have brain cancer and my caregiver has a chronic illness that is going untreated, not because the condition is untreatable, but because our insurance–Medicaid–claims there is “insufficient medical necessity” for the medicine prescribed by his doctor).

That he doesn’t need the Humira for his psoriatic arthritis is an outright lie, however. Just look at this. Look. At. It.

Anyway, in discussing that we have been on Medicaid and SSDI openly online, countless trolls and bots have suggested, like this woman, that patients like me don’t deserve the health care we do get and have no right to complain about the health care we don’t get.

‘Mer’ka. Yeah!

This weekend was the first time, though, that someone I knew had told me that I specifically am unworthy of care or of demanding a certain standard of coverage for my husband.


At first I was seething with rage. Today that rage has given way to hurt and a complete disillusionment in all of humanity.

I spent two hours at the hospital getting IV fluids this afternoon. Alone with my thoughts for all of that time, I just kept wondering how many other people thought I shouldn’t be allowed to have the infusion. It was a depressing couple of hours for sure, and I haven’t yet completely pulled myself out of the funk. (I will in my own time, don’t worry.)

I used to think that people who cried “freeloader!” just couldn’t empathize with a nameless, faceless group of people they’d been told to hate. That if they knew someone who was sick, they would change their tune. Step up and demand humanity from their family, friends, neighbors, and political representatives.

Good night was I ever wrong.


When a friend of mine suggested I come up with something nice to say about this woman to help me shake off the dust and dirt, all I could think of was this:

“Well, if you’re looking for a friend who doesn’t coddle you with positivity just because you have brain cancer, Brenda’s* definitely your gal.”

I just want to say that everyone deserves good, affordable health care. Even Brenda. And words can’t express how begrudgingly I say that.

* Not her real name.



  1. Oh, Emily, people can really say some downright mean and cruel things. You can appeal Medicaid’s decision on the Humira. I realize that this may require more resources than you both possess at this time. Sending gentle hugs and prayers your way.

    1. We haven’t given up and his doctor hasn’t either, but it sure is hard for him waiting!

  2. This is at least the second time today when I’ve found I have no words when presented with something mind-blowingly stupid, and it’s only 12:45. Please know Brenda’s stupidity isn’t about you, nor is it about reality. You and Dan should be having parades thrown in your honor for putting one foot in front of the other while the Universe keeps kicking you in the ass. You most certainly should not have to deal with stupidity such as this (or the insurance company’s, while we’re at it). I want to Hulk Smash for you.

  3. All “Brenda” did was prove her own ignorance. Medicare exists precisely to help people In extreme situations such as yours. And she’s apparently forgetting that before you got too ill to work, both you and your husband worked for years, paying into a system that you now need to use. She also seems to think you want to be in this position when you’d both prefer to be healthy enough to be back to 40 hour work weeks.

    Makes me wonder if she knows my neighbor who thinks anyone collecting unemployment insurance is taking a handout, totally forgetting the fact that to collect unemployment insurance one must have paid into it while gainfully employed.

    1. Thank you for this comment, Paula. I get too exhausted to repeat these facts sometimes. ❤️

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