Barring anything unforeseen, today I had my last appointment with my oncologist here in Urbana. My emotions are mixed. The move is an exciting thing I’m looking forward to. But if you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I have some medical baggage, and that makes leaving good doctors in search of new ones kind of a scary thing.
I guess I can relate it to high school graduation. The possibility of my future is cool, the uncertainty is not.
My doctor gave me some recommendations last week, and today I learned that she personally knows her top recommendation because she used to work there. I think I felt my muscles relax a little hearing that. I’m still going to miss her, but the future seems a little less scary.
In the past I went to Siteman Cancer Center at Barnes-Jewish in St. Louis, but getting there is cumbersome, I was never seen on time, one of my doctors there wouldn’t tell Lincoln Financial Group I was disabled unless I gave him $500, and I’m healthily skeptical of medicine in Missouri these days. (They’re like one legislative bill away from declaring chemo illegal because it makes people infertile. I’m exaggerating, probably, but a whole lot less than I’d like to be.)
So, to summarize, I think this is going to work out better for me. And I really love to be able to say that. Because that has not historically been the case for me when it comes to medical stuff. It feels like skipping baggage claim, because all I have finally fits in my carry-on bag now.