Mood: Exhaling
Maybe I’m projecting, but the mood at the Cancer Center Friday was different, and after watching all four days of the DNC’s primetime convention lineup, I’m convinced it’s because we all can exhale about November. None of us need extra stuff to worry about.
I’ve been convinced Trump will lose for several months, but I’m also convinced he will lose violently. Now I’m less nervous because I have greater confidence that people are paying attention. (I am still certain he’ll be a violently sore loser until his dying day.) It’s reassuring, though, that it’s not just the vulnerable and a handful of voters saying “WTF!?” anymore.
It’s taken years to get here, but sun, sun, sun, here it comes.
Being diagnosed with brain cancer right after Trump’s 2017 inauguration was a disturbingly anxiety-inducing experience. I know I’ve said that before, but damn.
Maybe the felon’s running again coinciding with my newest, latest cancer scares has played an outsized role in my recent headlong plummet into Worry®. It sure wouldn’t be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever considered…
So. There was a patient at the clinic wearing a red, white, and blue shirt with a U.S. Marines hat when I went to see Dr. Oncologist Friday, and I didn’t reflexively assume the worst of a Boomer white guy from “downstate” Illinois telling his phlebotomist to tell her husband he said Semper Fi.
Nature is healing, thanks to Dems reminding the world flags and patriotism don’t have to be triggering symbols of White Nationalism.
I’ve also lost 12 pounds since my last oncology visit. All this past week I’ve been wondering why the elastic waistbands blew out in all my jammies and then I was like, ohhhhhh.
Lolz.
No worries though, I was plenty overweight and still am. I’m not losing too quickly or in danger of becoming underweight. Weight loss is a real problem for some cancer patients, but not for me. Treatments and bodies vary.
In addition to less binge-y eating habits, I think worry might have physical mass, and that shedding some worry has resulted in my losing a few pounds? Maybe?
I don’t know if any of these improvements will affect my physical disabilities. I do sometimes wonder, but then I remember to be in the present.