It’s Inktober, y’all! I’m not directly participating this year, but I’m watching YouTube videos, as usual, from other Certified Zentangle Teachers while they complete the Inktober Zentangle prompts for 2024 as compiled by Stephanie Jennifer, a CZT based in Singapore.
I have little control over my right hand and it is extremely weak, so holding a pen or pencil is not something that brings me comfort and calm right now. (I can just barely wield a fork to eat, and I prefer to stuff my face with handheld food.)
I still have hope for one day, though.
I believe this is related to the brain tumor, I don’t think it’s caused by the tumor. My ability fluctuates, indicating the problem is with an irritable nerve that likes to stop innervating muscles with overuse. (Think about stuff downline occasionally falling asleep below the neck and how neck and shoulder tension from anxiety probably exacerbate that.)
Mom usually helps me fill out forms, and I do my best to keep my signature identifiable for the bank and voter registration and whatnot, but it ain’t what it used to be.
My left arm burns with pain. I’ve dealt with some form of this issue since the craniotomy in 2017. There’s a pinched nerve in my neck that brings with it delightfully disabling pain.
After brain surgery the neurosurgeon was like “Damn, those were some neck muscles.”
They haven’t relaxed once in probably 10 years. Would PT have helped? Maybe, but I was on chemo and radiation and throwing up almost immediately following the biopsy. Physical therapy was recommended then, but it never happened. I have limits.
I will likely have to relearn to draw if I ever figure out a way to look down at my hand again without shit spinning, but maybe I won’t mind videoing that process. I think I can be okay with jittery lines if I can just hold a Micron again.
For now though, I have to be careful and use my arms less. Or else I risk extreme pain on top of everything else.
Hmm. Maybe I should sling my affected side? To protect it from sudden, thoughtless movements? I wish I could just afford to try shit until I find something that helps, but alas!
At any rate, I was thinking of doing a blog post on Zentangle bookmarks, but I’m putting that off. There’s plenty going on with Inktober. I need a rest, and I want to enjoy what I can without making extra work for myself.