One of the ways I can tell I’m feeling better is that I am getting things done again. That includes posting a new Zentangle video that went live this morning. Also I’m already thinking about new ones to create. Signs of life.
My hands are unsteady and my grip feels weird, but I did it. Taking a few minutes to watch this helps my channel, especially after a long hiatus like I took following my dad’s death and then doing more chemo a few months later. So, if you like Zentangles or just want to help a girl out, here you go:
These are actually the first nine patterns in the Project Pack 10, L5 spread. Sometimes what I need to do is go back to the basics. Anyway, if you’d like to take a look at the original videos from Zentangle HQ, you can find them here: Zentangle YouTube Channel.
I plan to film Part 2 soon, but I have to make sure I take some time off to take care of me and ordinary life things, and that requires being very intentional about how I spend my time. So check back here or subscribe to my YouTube channel if you want to know when the next video drops.
We have running water in the kitchen. This is really good news for my marriage. The plumber came this morning to connect our sink, garbage disposable, and dishwasher. That’s not our sink, it’s just a stock photo because nothing in this house is what I’d call photo ready.
Anyway, now that Dan won’t have to make his coffee or wash dishes in the combination laundry room/cat bathroom/human half bath, I’m hoping his mornings will be less painful and I will be less grumpy. The weather is forecast to be kind of cruddy today, though. If it triggers a second migraine in as many weeks, I will not be the kind of person anyone wants to be around.
Chad is still running, but he’s loud and Dan gets grumpy when he runs and as someone sensitive to sound, I get it. But also? We can’t just never run a vacuum for the rest of our lives. There are upsides to both of us living with chronic illness and there are downsides to both of us living with chronic illnesses. Right now I think the downsides are being amplified by this ginormous life change, our lack of disposable income, and our respective inabilities.
Yesterday, Mom helped me get my little studio—basically a corner of my bedroom—organized. But there’s still a fair bit of work to do before I can make Zentangle videos again. Coincidentally, a company that sent me metallic pens to review contacted me to check the status of my posting about their product. Out of curiosity, I went back to the beginning of the email thread to see when they first contacted me. It was January. JANUARY. If I had any idea it would take this long, I probably would have declined the opportunity. Or at the very least, said it might be the end of the year before I can get around to creating the content.
Hindsight.
We’re getting close to being able to unpack and unfurl everything though, including my video equipment. Still on the list are things like the a final visit from the electrician and general contractor, and then a final inspection from the city or the country or whoever does that thing. I’m not certain who it is, and if I look it up, I will probably forget I was in the middle of writing a blog post.
Generally speaking, this little basement apartment is nicer that anything I’ve lived in. Or at least it will be when everything’s done. I realize that anything I have to complain about is temporary, and that’s what gets me through. I’m not sure Dan feels that way yet, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
The past four days were harder than four years of college in perceived effort. I’m not complaining—just the opposite. I’m pretty damn proud of myself.
Saturday (Day 3) was the hardest day. The second full day of webinar-ing, and I worked on a lot of tiles. Toward the end of the day, my dominant hand went pins and needles on me. My lines got really wonky, and I started getting super cranky with myself—the truest sign of my fatigue is how grumpy I am.
That’s why yesterday’s post was so short. In fact, I’m not even close to recovered, so I should probably cut this short too. Here are tiles from today:
Today was a full day of CZT training. (Yesterday was just a half day.) I started off pretty strong considering Dan had to wake me up at the buzzer this morning. Thank Gandalf I can just drop into my chair without getting dressed or eating breakfast first, because oof!
However, by lunchtime I was fading fast. I made it through nine tiles today, but my body was ready to lie down and my hand was getting shaky towards the end.
It was so worth the effort though, and I would never do so many Zentangle tiles in one day on my own. Which just shows me I am still capable of doing this at my own pace. I had been away from drawing for so long that I was having my doubts. You know how it is.
Anyway, it was a good day. Dan made sure I was fed, I liked some of my tangles, and—this huge—a wonderful friend made a donation to our GoFundMe that covered all of our moving expenses. I am so grateful to announce we are 90% funded!
I’d love to connect with you if you’re on the Mosaic App, whether yo are part of webinar 39 or not: EmilySuessCZT39
