Shower Thoughts #6: Reflections

Shower Thoughts #6: Reflections

Another episode of my definitely very original Shower Thoughts series.

People who always thought of me in terms of what I could do for them sure did crap all the bricks when I thought of them in terms of what they did to me.

The best time to do better is before the memoir.

The brain tumor affects my balance and coordination, not my capacity for rational thought.

It’s exhausting to care how much of what other people have and judge whether or not they deserve it. It’s unpaid emotional labor. I think I’ll not do it.

That headline’s not going to get him what he wants, but I understand how self-delusion leads to shock.

The headline I was thinking about:

Singing: My my my my armor comes from you.

The more I think I know, the less I learn. Which probably explains why I find some people very tedious and mansplaining makes my ears quit working.

Shower Thoughts #5: Horses, Bullets, and Victimhood

Shower Thoughts #5: Horses, Bullets, and Victimhood

Another episode of my definitely very original Shower Thoughts series.

Am I an optimist, or am I just trying to make horses drink?

Now that I think about it, only one kid in class asked why the German citizens didn’t stop Hitler.

I used to think the phrase “hot and sweaty” was redundant, but life has taught me that “cold and sweaty” is also a thing.

Me to myself: What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Myself: Still a jumping jack.

I’d rather have a beer with Joe Biden than eat ice cream with George W. Bush.

Dan talking to our dog like he’s a human is one of my favorite things. “Hey, Boomer, want to watch a Sunday night movie?”

Scooby Doo by Doo where are you? We’ve got some work to…. Ahhhhhh! Make the music in my head stop!

Relief is looking back to discover you dodged a bullet. Empowerment is dislodging the bullets you took.

My experience is that victims don’t want to be seen as victims, but boy abusers sure do.

Shower Thoughts #4: Squares, Alex Jones, Weed

Shower Thoughts #4: Squares, Alex Jones, Weed

Another episode of my definitely very original Shower Thoughts series.

Life is full of nuance. All squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares.

When I’m tired and everything is spinning, I really hate this shower.

You’re sick when you’re too tired to cook. You’re really sick when you’re too tired to eat.

Fucking monkey pox can get bent. Someone else can get a vaccine. As far as I’m concerned, everyone’s contaminated. Asking my immune system to do one more thing right now is like asking an elementary school teacher if she’s got a minute.

I need to crowdsource food ideas. I’m sick of oatmeal, protein shakes, and Lunchables.

I miss feeling comfortable. Eight years feels like a long time to be in unrelenting pain.

I’m pretty sure there was a time in my life when clothes didn’t hurt.

If Alex Jones has $45 million, it’s because people bought his literal and figurative bullshit. If the consequences of telling the truth are being poor…

I was going somewhere with this.

Probably related: I’m not convinced the long arc of the moral universe even bends toward justice. Parallel lines, more like.

Oh, yeah. Roger Stone was begging for money on behalf of Alex Jones and called him a “good Christian” man. 

So much for sheep’s clothing. They’re coming at the godbots stark white and buck naked with tattoos of Richard Nixon on their backs.

At least that relentless eye blinker, Joel Osteen, goes to church.

I need to think about something happier and take some weed.

Shower Thoughts #4: Squares, Alex Jones, Weed

Shower Thoughts Episode 3

Shower Thoughts. The third installment of my definitely very original series.

I need someone to explain to me how the paint on Bob Ross’s palette never ended up on his shirt. It defies physics!

Do other people wonder how “beat the devil out of” became a cliche? It can’t be a good history.

Is Bill Barr what happens when Steve Bannon steps inside a phone booth?

I need to watch Fleabag again.

FOMO realized: I never got to try a Choco Taco.

I can do hard things, yes. But do I want to?

How am I drawn to The Arnolfini Portrait and Beetlejuice but my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and not Halloween?

Bardcore is what happens when Postmodern Jukebox goes to a Ren Faire with a lute and a recorder.

It’s called musical ear syndrome. Mind. Blown. I should Google “cicada ear syndrome.”

Shower Thoughts #4: Squares, Alex Jones, Weed

Shower Thoughts Episode 2

Shower Thoughts. The second installment of my definitely very original series.

What would happen if “How It’s Made” did an episode on sausage?

That wasn’t Vicki Lawrence, Gilda Radner or Carol Burnett. Also the show was called Alice, not Mel’s Diner.

“I know you wanna leave me, but I refuse to let you go” is a red flag. Also, if you have to beg, you’re doing something wrong. Try being a better person first and see how that goes.

Ben & Jerry’s > Häagen-Dazs. 

People call things “crutches” like crutches are a bad thing.

Related: Tell me you’ve never had a broken leg without telling me you’ve never had a broken leg.

See also: ableism.

Before diseases had names, did everyone just call sick people fakers?

People are like, “Wow! You’ve survived 5 years with a brain tumor?” Bitch, it’s been way longer than that. February 2017 is just when the doctors finally accepted reality.

In heaven, you never have to decide what’s for dinner.

The first time someone told me I wasn’t responsible for others’ incomplete perceptions of me, it changed my life.

The reason some people struggle with work-life balance is that they think work alone is as important as the sum of everything else. It is not.

Pin It on Pinterest