Shower Thoughts #7: Twice Indicted

Shower Thoughts #7: Twice Indicted

Another episode of my definitely very original Shower Thoughts series. If you’re new here, I consider being politically engaged a life-long obligation.

Either a skunk sprayed or 50 of my neighbors are smoking really bad weed in my backyard right now.

I think one of the most valuable lessons you can learn from a cat is that consent can be revoked at any time.

In a world where T**** and the GOP lie, cheat, and run their mouths all the time, a measured, competent Jack Smith is going to be awarded temporary hot unicorn status on the internet. Sometimes people need a hero. Ask Anthony Fauci.

I hope T**** doesn’t sleep a wink tonight and has anxiety diarrhea on a toilet that won’t flush.

I just finished reading the indictment document. Admitting the closest I got to law school was Valparaiso’s wait-list, I don’t see how any reasonable defendant does anything but put his hands out to be cuffed. Christ on a bike!

I want someone to ask Mitch McConnell if his judges were worth it. Keep a camera on him until he says yes, no, or dies.

I may never know the answers, but I have even more questions about all the politicians who visited Mar-a-Lago. Lindsey Graham and Kevin McCarthy really stick out in my mind.

Mike Pence is what AI thinks a human is.

My unpopular opinion is let Judge Cannon show the world her ass again. Americans could use another lesson in identifying corrupt judges.

If you can’t celebrate the federal indictment yet, I get it. But here’s my perspective: It’s more enjoyable to be happy that there are people (in high places!) that care about what’s right and good and less important that people get what they deserve.

To be clear. Bad people getting what they deserve is still worth celebrating! It’s just a little lower on my list.

Instead of interviewing “financially challenged” cishet white dudes and “undecided” voters at diners, I want to hear from prison abolitionists who’ve made a moral exception for T**** and his GOP this election cycle.

Shower Thoughts #7: Twice Indicted

Shower Thoughts #6: Reflections

Another episode of my definitely very original Shower Thoughts series.

People who always thought of me in terms of what I could do for them sure did crap all the bricks when I thought of them in terms of what they did to me.

The best time to do better is before the memoir.

The brain tumor affects my balance and coordination, not my capacity for rational thought.

It’s exhausting to care how much of what other people have and judge whether or not they deserve it. It’s unpaid emotional labor. I think I’ll not do it.

That headline’s not going to get him what he wants, but I understand how self-delusion leads to shock.

The headline I was thinking about:

Singing: My my my my armor comes from you.

The more I think I know, the less I learn. Which probably explains why I find some people very tedious and mansplaining makes my ears quit working.

Shower Thoughts #5: Horses, Bullets, and Victimhood

Shower Thoughts #5: Horses, Bullets, and Victimhood

Another episode of my definitely very original Shower Thoughts series.

Am I an optimist, or am I just trying to make horses drink?

Now that I think about it, only one kid in class asked why the German citizens didn’t stop Hitler.

I used to think the phrase “hot and sweaty” was redundant, but life has taught me that “cold and sweaty” is also a thing.

Me to myself: What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

Myself: Still a jumping jack.

I’d rather have a beer with Joe Biden than eat ice cream with George W. Bush.

Dan talking to our dog like he’s a human is one of my favorite things. “Hey, Boomer, want to watch a Sunday night movie?”

Scooby Doo by Doo where are you? We’ve got some work to…. Ahhhhhh! Make the music in my head stop!

Relief is looking back to discover you dodged a bullet. Empowerment is dislodging the bullets you took.

My experience is that victims don’t want to be seen as victims, but boy abusers sure do.

Shower Thoughts #4: Squares, Alex Jones, Weed

Shower Thoughts #4: Squares, Alex Jones, Weed

Another episode of my definitely very original Shower Thoughts series.

Life is full of nuance. All squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares.

When I’m tired and everything is spinning, I really hate this shower.

You’re sick when you’re too tired to cook. You’re really sick when you’re too tired to eat.

Fucking monkey pox can get bent. Someone else can get a vaccine. As far as I’m concerned, everyone’s contaminated. Asking my immune system to do one more thing right now is like asking an elementary school teacher if she’s got a minute.

I need to crowdsource food ideas. I’m sick of oatmeal, protein shakes, and Lunchables.

I miss feeling comfortable. Eight years feels like a long time to be in unrelenting pain.

I’m pretty sure there was a time in my life when clothes didn’t hurt.

If Alex Jones has $45 million, it’s because people bought his literal and figurative bullshit. If the consequences of telling the truth are being poor…

I was going somewhere with this.

Probably related: I’m not convinced the long arc of the moral universe even bends toward justice. Parallel lines, more like.

Oh, yeah. Roger Stone was begging for money on behalf of Alex Jones and called him a “good Christian” man. 

So much for sheep’s clothing. They’re coming at the godbots stark white and buck naked with tattoos of Richard Nixon on their backs.

At least that relentless eye blinker, Joel Osteen, goes to church.

I need to think about something happier and take some weed.

Shower Thoughts #4: Squares, Alex Jones, Weed

Shower Thoughts Episode 3

Shower Thoughts. The third installment of my definitely very original series.

I need someone to explain to me how the paint on Bob Ross’s palette never ended up on his shirt. It defies physics!

Do other people wonder how “beat the devil out of” became a cliche? It can’t be a good history.

Is Bill Barr what happens when Steve Bannon steps inside a phone booth?

I need to watch Fleabag again.

FOMO realized: I never got to try a Choco Taco.

I can do hard things, yes. But do I want to?

How am I drawn to The Arnolfini Portrait and Beetlejuice but my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving and not Halloween?

Bardcore is what happens when Postmodern Jukebox goes to a Ren Faire with a lute and a recorder.

It’s called musical ear syndrome. Mind. Blown. I should Google “cicada ear syndrome.”

Shower Thoughts #4: Squares, Alex Jones, Weed

Shower Thoughts Episode 2

Shower Thoughts. The second installment of my definitely very original series.

What would happen if “How It’s Made” did an episode on sausage?

That wasn’t Vicki Lawrence, Gilda Radner or Carol Burnett. Also the show was called Alice, not Mel’s Diner.

“I know you wanna leave me, but I refuse to let you go” is a red flag. Also, if you have to beg, you’re doing something wrong. Try being a better person first and see how that goes.

Ben & Jerry’s > Häagen-Dazs. 

People call things “crutches” like crutches are a bad thing.

Related: Tell me you’ve never had a broken leg without telling me you’ve never had a broken leg.

See also: ableism.

Before diseases had names, did everyone just call sick people fakers?

People are like, “Wow! You’ve survived 5 years with a brain tumor?” Bitch, it’s been way longer than that. February 2017 is just when the doctors finally accepted reality.

In heaven, you never have to decide what’s for dinner.

The first time someone told me I wasn’t responsible for others’ incomplete perceptions of me, it changed my life.

The reason some people struggle with work-life balance is that they think work alone is as important as the sum of everything else. It is not.

Shower Thoughts #4: Squares, Alex Jones, Weed

Shower Thoughts

Shower Thoughts. This might become a series. Or it might not. I do what I want.

I can gauge how tired I am by my reactions to insensitive comments. If a stranger on the internet makes me angry, I need to slow down. If one hurts my feelings, I need a nap.

The more you own who you are, the fewer “scandals” there are to hold over your head.

Privacy is an illusion created by not knowing what other people know about me.

Why is it so hard to find a bag of supreme pizza rolls?

Dad hated green peppers. I miss Dad.

Ouch. That’s too hot.

Why does it take 3 nanoseconds for DoorDash to take my money and 3-5 business days to refund it after they screw up?

The most insulting thing someone could say about me is that I never complain. I have so much more to lose if I keep quiet.

Radiation (adj.) burns (noun)

Radiation (noun) burns (verb)

Today I learned a narwhal’s horn is actually a tooth. This information changes nothing and everything about my life.

I used to plan showers around my life. Now I plan my life around showers.

I don’t know where I left off writing Who You Gonna Believe, and I don’t want to read my own writing to find out what the next chapter should be.

Pin It on Pinterest