Brain Tumor

Scanxiety is a Thing

scanxiety.pngI’ve had a difficult time getting to sleep the past couple of nights. I can’t really put my finger on just why; it’s just a general sense of anxiety.

There are unidentified beings throwing a dance party in the pit of my stomach. They’re drunk, puking Zima, and butt-dialing my brain saying things like, “Have you tried worrying about this yet?”

Right now I’m leaning toward the source of my uneasiness being scanxiety about next week’s appointments in St. Louis.

I will have my first post-treatment MRI then. Though I’ve been warned the scan results are to determine a “new baseline” and are not for comparison, I really, really want to know that the tumor is already smaller.

I know I’m in for more rounds of chemo, regardless of the story the new MRIs tell, but if the doctors think that more radiation is called for, I might lose it. I already rang the bell. That means I’m done.

Done, done.

Right?

You can’t ring the bell, take home your radiation mask, and then have to do it again. That’s just not right.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Scanxiety is a Thing

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s