I’m feeling a little less cranky today. I took an edible last night and slept 11 hours. I don’t know why, but I haven’t been sleeping more than a couple hours a night for about a month now, and sometimes I just have to force rest. There are worse ways to do that than a chocolate peanut butter indica candy bar.
I tend to be a hesitant medicator for many reasons. A big consideration is that edibles are expensive. But I realized I had more on hand than I thought, and I will easily get through. Between my sensitivity to everything and my tolerance break, I am what Dan jokingly calls a “cheap date.”
Mom says they’re putting flooring in soon at Our New Digs, and it’s getting real folks. It could—COULD—be ready by the end of the month! Feeling the Squeeze!
Our Realtor is coming next week to help us figure the details of getting our house listed too. I have help with all of this stuff, but I’d be lying if I said my anxiety isn’t up a notch or two. I feel overwhelmed.
Largely it’s just that a lack of control feels disorienting and scary. Intellectually, I know things will come in steps and I should take them as they come without worrying.
But have you met my amygdala? It’s, uh, seen some stuff.
The day after the walk-through, Zentangle training will start. So I’m already trying to get myself mentally organized for that too. The oncology nurse called me this morning, and I told her I was looking at starting back on chemo around the 20th. Can’t be barfing and bed-ridden while I’m on a Zoom call, right? Honestly don’t know if I should just wait until after I’m moved? I need to be as functional as possible. But also living is a pretty major concern. So….
Of course everything is subject to change. Everything. I need to be thinking about packing and flu shots and cancer all at the same time but I only have the capacity to do like half a thing at a time. So, I guess what I’m saying is, prepare for me to do a lot of thinking-out-loud here on the blog, if and when I update.
Fingers toes and eyes crossed the next hearing from the January 6 Committee happens when I’m free to watch. Because this all about me.
I’m off to get moving quotes and make a list or ten thousand. Please consider sharing our moving/renovation fundraiser on your social media. Or you can make a donation:
You have a new twin. Cancer twin? Mine’s in a different spot. I always joked my lady parts were trying to kill me. Uterus went postal. Medical bingo card is filling up. I added uterine biopsy, D&C, pelvic MRI and hysterectomy to my card. Last two are coming soon. Good luck on the move! Crossing fingers they finish soon and move goes smoothly.
Well fuck. That was not a twinship I was looking to add. New stuff is gonna suck from here on out, but you get to tell people to fuck off and blame cancer. So…plus side? Do you have my email? Emily at EmilySuess. You can always gripe to me about literally anything, anytime. I do texts too if that’s preferable. And I don’t carry a single ounce of toxic positivity, just the non-toxic stuff. If you have a wishlist or fundraiser or anything you want boosted send me a link.