I woke up to a deposit notification email from my bank this morning and I was all set to celebrate with my favorite breakfast, but the food delivery app said the restaurant was closed.

It wasn’t the neighborhood McDonald’s that was closed, just GrubHub’s delivery. But since I can’t drive it might as well be closed.

It’s Monday, and I feel personally attacked. Not a great start to my week.

Now, Dan probably would have made a run for me, but I didn’t suggest it because 1.) I budget my asks; 2.) the Corolla smells like it’s burning lately; and 3.) the garage door only closes if Dan pushes it down past the Nope Point—the spot about halfway down the track where it meets some imperceptible obstruction and reverses course.

I think the garage door and my esophagus are in collusion, now that I’m writing this.

My whole point in bringing up the car and the garage is just that I worry one or both will crap out soon if we go around pretending like the world isn’t comprised of entropy and horrendously bad timing. That kind of stuff sucks when all else is fine. And, spoiler alert: hardly anything is fine over here.

Whew! That was a long walk just to tell you I went for another restaurant’s version of a breakfast biscuit and iced coffee this morning, but it wasn’t as good. I’ve been saying for years McDonald’s puts crack in their beverages.

I don’t really believe it’s crack, but they do something.

At any rate, I’m caffeinated and fed, and it was cheaper than our usual breakfast treat by about $7 dollars.

Oh, since I don’t tweet my every thought anymore, I just need to say that Marjorie Taylor Greene understood the assignment and if that $20 was tossed in the rage cage by an onlooker, so did they.

*intermission music*

Oof. Wendy’s is dead to me. First, they take away the vanilla Frosty to market test that Strawberry Quik-flavored nightmare in a cardboard cup. And now this?

Why does eating have to be such a struggle?

I’m going back to bed.